Monday, March 9, 2009

Nemini Crede!

For all you Latin buffs out there, the title reads "Trust no one!"
My oh my, the paranoia that has ensued because of these two simple little words.
I'm looking around corners, walking faster than usual to get to class, and stuffing my fingers in my ears when I get the slightest hint of anyone planning to talk to me.
The only solace I can take is in my friends, who will (hopefully) protect me in these perilous times.
What a great game, Gut is an absolute genius for doing this. He must be having so much fun watching us all suffer...

Anyway, on to the weekly rant.
It would be daily, but lately I'm much too lazy to ramble on. Which is quite interesting, as I have the tendency to ramble on when I'm exhausted. Often I'll emit incessant amounts of sentences of varied syntax and eloquence, sort of like the way I am now. However, free time to write has been a very rare occurrence, so these postings are rare as well.
So enjoy it. Or don't. I'm too tired to argue with any of you.

Do everything you can for the greater good, I believe that's a Platonic concept, or a Marxist one. Don't quote me on this, my knowledge of philosophies and their origins is very incomplete. For the greater good. My mind construes this as less of a Marxist theory and more of a "do the right thing" theory. The "greater good" is variable from person to person, and that certainly holds true for me. You see, I've been having a bit of a problem with discerning what the "greater good" is these days. What do I do that will prove ultimately beneficial to myself? One problem in particular is plaguing me as far as the answer to that question goes.

I'm trying to work out my feelings toward a particular person; as I am unsure at the moment how exactly I feel about this person. The moment I come close to figuring out the answer, something else pops into my head. Thus is my curse; I've been plagued with the curse of over-analysis for as long as I can remember. Anyway, to avoid going off on a tangent, I can't pinpoint my feelings one way or the other.
This problem is also two-fold.
Somebody else, I believe, is after the person in question. The fact that I feel any sort of feeling at all upon knowing this causes me to question my feelings toward this person even more. Why feel any sort of jealousy toward a person if you don't have any sort of feelings about them? There's also another complication.
My low sense of self-esteem prompts me to allow the other person to win over the person I am confused about, simply because that person deserves the one I am confused about more than I do.
Who am I to interfere with something that should not be controlled by me? Yet, I have the nagging urge to do something about it. I'm basically paralyzed while at any attempt to do anything about this problem.

And there is still another who graces my thoughts daily...
Vae tibi (woe to you) is the only way to save myself in the aforementioned game.

Vae mihi seems like the more appropriate phrase in this situation.
If you can't translate it, look it up.

Thanks for your time!

No comments:

Post a Comment